Valentine’s Day is Coming: 5 Weirdest Gifts

ust for the record, I hate Valentine’s Days. I never celebrate them and never feel those thrills of the upcoming fest of love. I believe this holiday has become too routine and prosaic. Still, these are my “personal ideologies” and they should by no means be taken as the ultimate wisdom.

As we are getting closer to the big day, most of you start pondering over what to give your significant other to remember you by. Since you are the only person who knows how to make your lovey happy, I am not going to give any advice on the gifts to buy. However, I could educate you on which presents would rather be skipped. But first let’s have a brief primer on who that Valentine guy is and why everyone loves him.

History of the Holiday

Although there are lots of stories that relate to Valentine’s Day and the person whom this holiday was named after, most sources suggest that Valentine was a Roman priest that lived in the 3^rd century. The then ruling emperor allowed only single men to join the army and thus banned his soldiers from entering into marriage. Valentine violated the law and married young couples. Once the priest’s actions were disclosed, the emperor sentenced him to death (they say in February). Since then couples have been celebrating February 14 and proclaimed it the fest of love.

5 Weirdest Gifts Ever

According to Forbes, in 2018 the total Valentine’s Day spending was around $19 billion in the USA alone. Check the stats across other countries, add them together, and I bet, the figure will be eye-watering. But what are those gifts that people buy? Are they worth the cost?

What’s on offer?

Silicone Heart Pancake Rings. If one’s soulmate loves cooking and, especially, baking – hell yeah, he/she is the lucky one! But, come on… Would anyone want kitchenware for Valentine’s Day? For me, it’s like: “Hey, babe… Why don’t you take those rings and go bake something special for the fest of love.” Probably, it’s not the activity he/she would like to undertake this day.

Couple Keychain (heart-shaped, of course). According to the seller, this is “a great gift for your lover”… Absolutely… if he/she is 15. Just imagine – February 14’s evening; the two are having a romantic dinner; the candles are burning; Joe Cocker is signing… And here’s that right moment! He/she is looking into the partner’s eyes and says: “I have something for you, sweetheart – and this is a keychain!” Yay! That’s kickass – one might think.

Photo Pendant (or heart locket). I would name this gift “Back to the 19^th century.” One may even add a lock of hair to his/her portrait – what a lovely surprise it would be! We are living in the digital age; almost everyone has a smartphone or a tablet, where piles of photos are stored. I believe, setting a lovely photo of the partner as a screensaver will be a more efficient reminder.

Wrench Set. Jokes aside, I’ve stumbled upon it when googling for Valentine’s Day Gifts (for him). It is fair to say that this gift is truly useful, especially if one’s partner is a crafts addict, or sorts. Hey… It’s Valentine’s Day! Obviously, a wrench set hardly deserves being called “The most romantic gift ever.”

Artificial Floral Arrangement with a Vase. The first thing that pops into my head: “Oh, thanks for the vase, guys! It’s so terribly nice of you.” In all honesty, I would prefer nothing at all, but not artificial tulips or roses. Seriously, Angelina Jolie once gave Brad Pitt a 200-year-old olive tree as a gift for Valentine’s Day, and I should enjoy fake flowers? No way.

Disclaimer

Once again, I would like to stress that this article is highly biased and based on my personal preferences. I would never object to the fact that those gifts described above could make someone happy on Valentine’s Day. Moreover, I encourage you to share the stories about the most romantic and anti-romantic gifts you ever received in your life. Fire away!